ultimate day

yesterday was about as good as it gets. woke up. meditation. then. went to the findhorn village to get breakfast, they were closed, but it was a magnificent sunrise nonetheless. such an awesome walk. wandered around findhorn in the morning looking for hot cooked food but was unsuccessful. i think i am getting addicted to coffee again, and it feels pretty good, or it tastes good at least. i came back to the house to make toast and jam with tea. this IS my diet here. then me and the girls went over to another students bungalow to help them clean it up as one of our community members has decided to leave. it really saddens me. the program keeps getting smaller and smaller. after we helped with the cleaning i took a solo walk out onto the findhorn bay. that place has become a source of so much medicine. then lunch. a gigantic spread. i had a three course meal and was completely full. then our group went on a hike out to the findhorn river. incredible! those woods are magickal! had such a blast. then we returned and had a gigantic dinner, another three course meal with tiramisu that was full of booze! god it was awesome. then. there was a party scheduled to happen in community center and we all went and gathered a bunch of african drums and didgeridoo's. what commenced was so great. tons of people dancing and drinking and playing drums! this party went on for about 3 hours and I shook my tail off on all levels. i ditched the party early and snuck off to the hot tub. it was a totally clear night and i soaked in a whiskey barrel hot tub underneath the stars as a beautiful night cap. AHO!

to feel unequivocally. to include all aspects and attitudes unconditionally is not a doctrine, is not a practice, is not an idea, not a method. it is truth. it is reality. to call it anything else is a lie. even love. as lovely as love is. it too shalt be cast into the ocean and only its residue, the foam of the tide will remain. and that will be what you once called love. until you've seen the ocean and swam its depths, you will be forever doomed to foam. awareness has its own method, its own practice, its own attitude, and its own curriculum. it will teach you everything you need to know when it is the right time. all we can do is be patient and satisfied. that all things are in their right place at the right time. if we can open ourselves up to the most disrespected of our feelings and sentiments we can give birth to a kind of loving and trust that is saintly. it takes, however, a crucifixion and a death at all times. surrender the joy, surrender the sorrow, surrender surrender and true Presence shalt be your reward. nothing less than that is acceptable nor will it yield fruit as a spiritual practice. the wisdom of love overwhelms me every time i give into it. it knows what i need, it is what i need. i am all that i have and all that i will ever be. to the truth that is at my fingertips, my teacher and my intuition.

I found the pot of gold.

There's a transformation at hand and it is unspeakably beautiful, conceptually mundane. The work has begun. I see that my experience of positive and negative emotional states is just as much a ruse as acquiring new philosophical conceptualizations. I will not rest until I can truly rest. I see that the only truth is one wherein all things are included but not contained or isolated. All the parts are themselves whole, but they too help to create a much larger whole. Love is like that. Limitless. Thank God. The last week with this group has deepened a considerable degree. Right from the beginning my old wounds were right in front of me and I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity and the space to explore them and find healing. Nothing is solved nor will it ever be, there is only a consistent and continual surrender to something that I don't understand and don't know. I have realized the integrity of group process as a spiritual path. I understand why the circle is so sacred and learning to hold and provide the nourishment that all parts of the circle require is something that only real elders can do. For those who I have contacted thus far, thank you. I am becoming more and more inspired to give license to my voice and presence. I have been afraid of myself and my voice for so long, but I see that is because I breathe fire. I have been crushing a piece of coal into a diamond for the past 23 years and I feel it shining brighter than ever. "Random hearts in a cruel cruel world, Random hearts that beat for each other." I just have to thank god for this voice and the intrinsic intelligence with which it is imbued. Every time I speak from my heart and offer to anyone the words that are on my mind, and the quicker and more spontaneously I do so, the better I feel and the better I feel in community, the better I feel in a group. The primary concern of community is honesty, and the more honest we can be with ourselves, the more honest our communication with others will be, and the more honest our lives will become. To Love, To LOVE, TO LOVE.

2/20/11

Update situation. Highs and lows. yin and yang. siva/sakti. love/love.love. There is so much going on and such beautiful people. I've really started to feel more grounded and a part of the community here as my network of friendships grows larger and deeper. I was walking around today and had the thought, where else is there to go when you are doing what you love and are surrounded by family? That's a difficult question, thank god. I've had my hands full lately. Doing a little bit of homework for the program and getting my hands dirty with the actual work. The working situation is so great here oh my god. Doesn't even feel like work. I show up at the Collerne gardens at 9am. We get into a group and hold hands, attune to the present moment and the work before us, then attune to what work we would like to do, then get going. Then we work for about an hour and a half, then have a 20/30 minute tea break that is just a smorgasbord, then get back to it for about another hour and then clean up what we've been doing and then hold hands and tune out. Also, when I say tune in and tune out, I mean that we (whoever is participating in a group activity) holds hands and meditates together for a minute. Then we offer prayers and intentions as a group regarding the upcoming activity and the present moment. Anyway, I've been cleaning garden beds and doing some great weeding, and I've also helped do the composting with my friend Martin. The compost situation here is so inspiring, everything is reused, zero waste attitude and it is very well planned and developed. Compost is what built this place. There wasn't anything here except sand and beaches, gorse, which is a very thick skinned plant, spikey and sharp. One of the founders of Findhorn, Peter, must have spent the first couple years just composting to create the soil upon which these beautiful gardens now flourish and from where we get our food. Just Beautiful.
Yesterday our group along with the folks from the Ecovillage Training went into Forres and got a taste of some city life. There was a bus going to Aberdeen and I was hard pressed not to just start my tour of Scotland! It's nice to get into the towns and cities because I feel more like I'm actually in a different country. Findhorn is such an international community and is kind of its own universe, so the surrounding landscape is very helpful when it comes to creating cultural context. Just an awesome day. Had the time to practice yoga when I got back and had my fill of raw vegetables, and then went to bed early.
Today is kinda cloudy but warmer, and I've some homework to occupy myself with. I will probably head into the Findhorn village down the road and get cozy at a coffee shop and do some of this 'work'. Oh yeah. The food is maybe the best I've ever had, and it's consistently good. For brunch: potatoes, eggs w/ veggies, stir fry veggies (mushrooms, carrots) w/ tahini, a brownie, and some coffee. Peppermint tea for digestion. Oh, and some of the stereotypes are true, the english really really like tea and toast. WORD is BOND. The word is LOVE.

more pictures 2.20.11

Yesterday was a very beautiful day.

pictures

walking on water, jumping in naked

2/18/11
I did it. I finally walked on water. It's possible here. One of my longest standing goals has been accomplished with the help of the unique biodiversity and spiritual reality that Findhorns magick creates. Thank God. A friend named Mary joined me as well, both of us crossed onto the glassy surface of the water to discover that you can walk way out into the Findhorn bay and there is sand that is under an inch of water perhaps. What's great though is that you can't really see the sand, it only pops up here and there and for the most part it looks as if it weren't there at all. With a late afternoon sun the two of us walked into the afterlife.
I went back to that same spot last night for the full moon. Just magickal, the queen of cups rules that environment and space. I then went to join a rather large group of people who took a walk through the dune land (which is something like what I would imagine the surface of the moon) to the North(?) sea. There was about 20-30 who went and it was a beautiful thing to witness all the people heading there together. Such an awesome community. The best part of the evening however, had yet to happen. Once we got to the sea, it was time to get naked. A Belgian fellow named Lieven(?) and myself, followed by a few others went skinny dipping in the sea!! Such a tremendous rush of energy, like a baptism. We stood there, naked in the light of the full moon, on the threshold of new beginnings and the most beautiful sacrifice. The night ended with a beautiful walk back to the community, whcih culminated in a group hug of epic proportions. We howled at the moon and walked back home. My name is Stephen Link, and I have spoken. HEY! HO!

Findhorn Ecovillage

The beginning of the official, designated, purpose of this blog.

2/16/11
Been at Findhorn for a few days now. Time is going very fast. This place is deep, real deep, and what is going on internally is tremendous. The moments of elation parallel the moments of trouble, but they are flowing together to create a harmonious song. Ever since arriving my contemplative impetus has been quite powerful and has only been encouraged when I take time myself. I'm having a difficult time, however, finding balance between my social projection and my internal experiences. Findhorn is a place of tremendous learning and healing. The forest is imbued with a consciousness that bespeaks tremendous intention and love. For me, the deepest healing is happening, as it always does, on the heart level. Complete surrender to love is the truth of awareness and of God, there is no other teaching. It feels really good to be working with Earth again. Actually, every task that I have been appointed has been so sweet. My activities are beautiful meditations and my enthusiasm has been in full force. Sweet dance party last night in the kitchen, there was a great crew of people from all over the world and we were dancing to Lady Gaga! Yesterday afternoon was an opportunity that I feel I've been waiting for for some time, maybe a lifetime. We had an opportunity to go to the Findhorn river and explore the surrounding terrain. Scottish forests are something that speaks so deeply to my imagination and the ancient past. Thank you God! Everywhere I walked was like the culmination of some great journey and I couldn't stop the feelings of devotion and reverence that overwhelmed me. An archetypal presence overtook me and I was at its behest completely. The behest of the beast. I felt like I could kill wild animals with my hands and teeth, and that it would be the most sacred offering unto the power of the Most High. I was overtaken and completely in love. I think, however, that I might have offered myself a bit overzealously. Upon returning to what I would call my waking persona, I was quite shaken and very sensitive. This is what, I would say, has been the biggest difficulty with the closeness of this community is that, although I have been having some tremendously spiritual experiences and my energy feels as if it is embracing all existence, I want to rest in that though, let it move through me, let myself be transformed by it. And in this space I find myself confronted by a lot of social giddiness and activity which, I must admit, has recalled a lot of past insecurities. I feel though, that because the community is so close together all the time, it will ultimately end up as its own spiritual reality. I must say that it is a little foreign to me to be surrounded by people practically all the time. There is a tremendous vulnerability that I am experiencing. Raw. But it is all tenderness and love.

1/27/11

i did it. committed the most fatal and egregious of errors. i fell in love with a stripper. she took me for all i was worth and at the end of the night i only had a best friend and a boombox. we walked home alike in our love for the phantasm of our fantasy and together took to triumph and revelry. nothing could stop our sensation. we were madrigal miracles, importing an impending doom to the decay march of society, as we proclaimed our love to the stars. all you need is love. we sing this. we chant this. we are this. i am this. this it. i am it. i am my love. i am love. no more no less. no song no salutation other than this marriage of the miraculous and the morbid. its incredible. i have spent so much time in the spiritual and philosophical realms of being that when i loosen up and decide to go with the flow in whatever way it takes me my meditation becomes my most immediate experience. even sensory engagement with life becomes a spiritual practice and the only thing i am enacting is my service of the undying and unending heartmind that is myself. i send this to all. encourage it in everyone. and become what i most despise. i become myself.
last night is a night which will live in infamy forever. its not every evening that you get together with an old friend and sing the praises of the universe forever unending unto the break of day when you get to start all over again. only this time in the guise of agenda and attitude. the masks of urbanity. if you have these no one will question your motive. in these opportunities i speak more loudly than ever. even in drunken revelry. i sing with my heart. i offer all Being the flowers of my sentiment and encouragement and wax alone under the opportune moon. none shall know or see my delight except the light. my partner and mischief maker. the lord is a coyote who runs away with my kill, who howls triumphantly the fourfold nature of his score. we are not different, the coyote, myself, me and god. we speak the same language and under that moon i shalt sing myself. and offer all praises and reciprocity unto my maker. for whom i have not the least desire to know. except in this song. thank you for my moments god. they are all i have and all i will take with me. merrymaking and revelry hath become unto me a religion as that which both befits and benefits myself and all others. life is a celebration.

i am starting to understand the life that i live. it is a movement of courtship with that most triumphant essence, an incorporation of all elements and an aggrandizement of the most royal proportions. i seek to become king over all that i see know and am, and yet at the same time, serve only the most high authority of all. in submitting to the king one becomes king. i can only say that i seek out the finest things in life in all regards. my body, my mind, my heart, can only be satisfied by that which would bequeath unto me the most grace. i seek moderation and yet am ecstatic, and my ecstasy is always in perfect proportion with the seasons, with the sentiment, and with the circumstances. the great mother looks out for her children with such gracious movements that her breast arms and heart are always within reach. i have only to look up, i have only to touch the ground, and i can feel her dance, and her laughter. the firepits of the ancients sent sparks up to the heavens in reverent dance for the gift of life, and all the stars sang in unison for their beloved. like the ancients i seek a royalty beyond hierarchy, an intrinsic kingship, and the friends that are family. that we should all dance and sing with tremendous steps and strides and ride into the sunset to ride it again, gratefully acknowledging the miracle together, that there could be no higher authority than this Love.

old poem

shakti is the caress of a restless mirror,
of Minos, Taurus, and Ursa Major;
I plead the Pleadies, and I plead to the
presence of infinite pleasure that I might
be accorded an intimation, an inclination
to overcome the curse of this purse that
I've been burdened by.

I am the Beast and I am the best, I've left it up to the
rest to resurrect the closest thing to consciousness
I could come up with, but It happens on its own Time;
I am pregnant with a new kind of pragmatism, a
regiment of reintegration into the tales of old, of child-
hood timelessness, and a passive affinity with infinity.

I gave up the cloth when I saw it stained by Her blood,
I gave up my cold dead presentiment when I learned it
was the first thing keeping me from clarity,
and I laughed with the clouds on Sunday afternoon when
I knew I wasn't alone;
I looked into the eyes of daffodils and pasafiers,
and knew absolutely that there was nothing to say.

Somewhere over the rainbow, my family is laughter, and
my family is light; my family is love and it is the most profound
gesture of respect; we are instantaneous evolution and the
expectation of perfection, and there is nothing that will keep us
from kissing, and I know that I am home when I hear I LOVE YOU,
anywhere and anytime. That's the real rhyme, that's the real reason,
that's the season, and its summer all the time.
I look to the sky and see the sea of infinity shining sublime,
I've teamed up with Time at last, when I let go of the past,
when I entered into the pleasure of this leisure that is
beyond measure; This is resurrection, this is passion, and this is
empathy, say It to me! I said say it to me! Love you Love you Love you I Love you!

poem 1/23/11

who consistently suggests having had the courtship of kundalini?

with unquestionable legitimacy where is the legacy of the sakta lineage?

which guru will guide me to the grace of god, how will we go about it?

i am an offering of incense and sensual sentiments the incestuous son seeking salvation.

there can be no conditions for this development as it is nondual,

and i am demonstrative of the stratification of the psyche, its coefficient coagulation.

the parts must be organized into a whole,

all the aspects shall speak with confidence and clarity,

they will legitimate themselves, certainty, so that synchronicity might coincide with synesthesia;

that this whole sordid affair of the seduction of suffering be put to an end.

I seek out an honest answer, a teacher who is indisputable, and a most hospitable abode for my blessings.

i am influenced by all aspects of experience and i only consider the most exceptional cirucumstances as being worthy of contemplation.

my respect begins and ends with reverence, with resurrection, and unto these decrees my mystical predilection is imperturbable.

pressure me with luck, with milk and consequences, there is nothing i wouldn't suffer for salvation other than ecstasy.

and it is here that i find myself face to face with my greatest fear.

that ecstasy itself is salvation, and its surrender is resurrection, that i would die to my desire and be brought back to life insatiably sober and full of celebrity.

like socrates i will drink my fill and drink to the dregs my dialogue of love, and all answers will be satisfied by quenching my thirst. i have heard the first and the last clarion trumpets announcing the apocalypse, and to this i can only suggest a kiss, and lips, languor, as Death's luxury should be my last seduction, the sanctuary of certitude.