tremendous amount of stuff happening. i have fallen in love. oh me oh my good god ya'll! this is strong. such a love is a mover of mountains, of miracle amongst miracles. thank god. i needed something like this, my heart was starting to feel far away. and with a beauty such as this it has been awakened and shaken, brought to its humble knees before the goddess herself to whom i would please. yesterday was the equinox, most holy of days as celebrated by the ancients, when day and night are equal, and spring is ushered in. the breeze was warm, and there was love in my heart. at work we performed a ritual, created a magic potion from an ox horn which had been hidden in the earth for a year, which was full of cow shit. we then took the cow shit out and put it into giant tubs of water and swirled them around for one hour. then it was time for tea. after that, we took our wands which were made out of tree branches, and then blessed the entire garden with the sanctified water. so much fun! the entire time people were playing drums and dancing and singing songs. what a blast.

3.12.11

edinburgh is, to date, the most amazing city i've ever been to. i'm starting to come to terms with the impact the harry potter book series has had on my consciousness, as edinburgh is the containing for that magick. this place feels like new orleans, there are spirits everywhere. walking around last night was like entering into a majestic dream, almost too much. the second i got here was like getting an electric shock straight to the third eye, my jaw dropped as soon as i stepped off the bus. literal magick. i cannot describe it beyond that, thank god. i feel like i've been waiting to come here for my whole life! giddy like a schoolgirl, i'm in love. i accidentally stumbled upon my hostel last night. i had no idea where it was but i was ok with that. i figured i would just follow my fancy as the city was so entrancing and lo and behold, i walked right to it. i got directions via the internet at a cafe called the black medicine cafe (one of the main places where jk rowling composed the harry potter series). from there i made it to my hostel and then got a bite to eat at a vegan/vegetarian baked potato restaurant. amazing food. i saw a flyer there advertising a balkan gypsy music party that was at a club some distance away. in keeping with the theme of last night, i wandered straight to it without any real regard for where i was going. i showed up a little early and decided to go to a pub nearby and wait for the doors to open. i enjoyed a nice beer and then headed to the venue. i walked into a very smoky room wherein there was circled in the center of the room an entire cabaret, 12 musicians all playing acoustic klezmer music. they even had a belly dancer! i love the mystery of the gyspy community, when i hear that music it is calling to a culture whose home has been everywhere and nowhere. like being at rainbow. i then made the acquaintance of a lovely young girl with whom i chatted at length. i don't remember her name but i remember making some delicious eye contact with her in the venue and then followed her outside. she was from switzerland. after talking for some time we decided to head back in to dance with the next act. this time the band was composed of about 15 people, they were also from switzerland, and they rocked. me and my lovely lady friend danced together almost all night, until the show turned into a raucous mosh pit. one of the best i've ever been in. the entire audience was imbued with a sense of love and respect, and the dancing was magnificent. unfortunately, as the dancing got started my glasses were taken victim by the concert and i was never to see them again. thank god i brought replacements to findhorn. but today i wander around without the ability to see details at a distance. yet it hasn't diminished the lustre and depth of the city. the weather today is characteristically scottish, rainy and wet, very cloudy. you can hear the sound of bagpipes echoing over the streets and i see now the culture from which that music has come. walking past a tour group i overheard the guide describing the criteria by which witches and witchcraft was persecuted in old world scotland. the first telltale sign was red hair. rowan is the name which people with red hair are usually given here. the entire group saw me walking by and we all shared a nice laugh. i am home. love.

images of inverness

adventures and events

it's been a few days since my last post. i've been thinking about what to write and its been quite difficult to address any particular thing that i've done in the past week, so i've decided to just let it be. yesterday, however, was absolutely wonderful. our friday's are dedicated to 'study' which means that we get the day off and can do whatever we want (at least this friday was). so i did yoga in the morning, ate a massive lunch (as per usual), but then started scotland hopping. first thing, hitched out of findhorn. got an awesome ride from a brother named nick who drove me to forres, which is really just down the road. as soon as i got out of his car i saw a giant bus with the name 'inverness' on it and high tailed it to the bus. i was standing in line with a gentlemen and i asked him how much the bus was, to which he replied, 'you want to buy this bus?' I'm started to understand british humor a little more. hahaha. i got on the bus and headed to inverness. it took about 45 minutes to get there so that allowed me to relax and enjoy the scenery. an interesting side note, however, is that i was quite nervous and felt a little uneasy while i was on the bus. it took a little while for me to get my bearings straight. i realized though, that this was really the first time that i'd been out on my own in scotland, which excited me a great deal. i don't think the reality of being in another country had really even hit me until yesterday. the bus dropped me off in inverness. i walked around trepidatiously at first, not quite sure of where to go or what to expect. i remembered, however, that there was a used book store a tour guide of ours mentioned last week as we drove through inverness on our way to loch ness. i decided that would be the best place to set up shop to get grounded. i really enjoyed walking around inverness. i entered into this goofy labyrinth shopping mall that was playing desmond dekker and had a little bit of a laugh at this place, ahh the little things. after some wandering i found the bookstore which was totally awesome. it was gigantic and had a coffee shop upstairs! so sweet. i got myself a cup of joe and decided to do some homework while i was hanging out. i read some of graham metzner's book about co-housing for my applied sustainability class. after that, after my coffee, i found a copy of the gospel of sri ramakrishna and read some passages out of that, which was absolutely uplifting. then i really took off. i left the bookstore and found this awesome health conscious cafe which was run by an old findhorn resident, so i bought a bar of raw chocolate and then crossed over the river. on the other side i found this magnificent cathedral, st. andrews. it was absolutely beautiful. huge stained glass windows, an incredible altar, beautiful wooden carvings all over the place, a total echo chamber. i was in bliss. i walked to the front of the pew and offered a prayer/meditation and wandered around in awe. everywhere i went after that was imbued with this quality of numinosity which i can hardly explain. the decor of european cities is, and i am going to make a broad generalization here, a lot more inspiring than cities in the states. it's like wandering around in a different time period, where there is still magick and mystery, the wandering nature of the streets testify to this. there is not some perfect straight line or answer to the problems of humanity, there is only an incredibly interesting journey which is nigh impossible to understand or navigate correctly. i walked around these streets, ducking into any alley or street that called to me and would enter into dialogue with my unconscious. i would literally ask it to present itself, that i might use the city as a metaphor for the labyrinthine nature of my own unconscious and then engage in a very real dialogue with myself in and as the city. so much fun! i walk around in love. my imagination is allowed more play here, and i can definitely feel it. inverness is a beautiful city. not too big, not too small, intriguing and inviting. i liked it a lot and will definitely go back. after inverness and picking up some good tourist info from a couple locals (an old bar which was a haunt of Jimmy Page's), i decided to head back. i took the bus back to forres and then went into an indian restaurant to get some take out. the guy who was working at the restaurant was great, we talked about meditation and evolution, hussein was his name, and i promised i would come back to chat with him some more. i caught the bus back to the park and saw my friend louis on it. he too had spent his day in inverness looking for a place to live. i made it back to findhorn and there was a jazz band playing in the community center, there was lots of wine and drinks and merriment to be had by all. so fun! i ate my indian food and drank wine and hung out with some amazing and beautiful people. i then finished my evening off with a hot tub.

ultimate day

yesterday was about as good as it gets. woke up. meditation. then. went to the findhorn village to get breakfast, they were closed, but it was a magnificent sunrise nonetheless. such an awesome walk. wandered around findhorn in the morning looking for hot cooked food but was unsuccessful. i think i am getting addicted to coffee again, and it feels pretty good, or it tastes good at least. i came back to the house to make toast and jam with tea. this IS my diet here. then me and the girls went over to another students bungalow to help them clean it up as one of our community members has decided to leave. it really saddens me. the program keeps getting smaller and smaller. after we helped with the cleaning i took a solo walk out onto the findhorn bay. that place has become a source of so much medicine. then lunch. a gigantic spread. i had a three course meal and was completely full. then our group went on a hike out to the findhorn river. incredible! those woods are magickal! had such a blast. then we returned and had a gigantic dinner, another three course meal with tiramisu that was full of booze! god it was awesome. then. there was a party scheduled to happen in community center and we all went and gathered a bunch of african drums and didgeridoo's. what commenced was so great. tons of people dancing and drinking and playing drums! this party went on for about 3 hours and I shook my tail off on all levels. i ditched the party early and snuck off to the hot tub. it was a totally clear night and i soaked in a whiskey barrel hot tub underneath the stars as a beautiful night cap. AHO!

to feel unequivocally. to include all aspects and attitudes unconditionally is not a doctrine, is not a practice, is not an idea, not a method. it is truth. it is reality. to call it anything else is a lie. even love. as lovely as love is. it too shalt be cast into the ocean and only its residue, the foam of the tide will remain. and that will be what you once called love. until you've seen the ocean and swam its depths, you will be forever doomed to foam. awareness has its own method, its own practice, its own attitude, and its own curriculum. it will teach you everything you need to know when it is the right time. all we can do is be patient and satisfied. that all things are in their right place at the right time. if we can open ourselves up to the most disrespected of our feelings and sentiments we can give birth to a kind of loving and trust that is saintly. it takes, however, a crucifixion and a death at all times. surrender the joy, surrender the sorrow, surrender surrender and true Presence shalt be your reward. nothing less than that is acceptable nor will it yield fruit as a spiritual practice. the wisdom of love overwhelms me every time i give into it. it knows what i need, it is what i need. i am all that i have and all that i will ever be. to the truth that is at my fingertips, my teacher and my intuition.

I found the pot of gold.

There's a transformation at hand and it is unspeakably beautiful, conceptually mundane. The work has begun. I see that my experience of positive and negative emotional states is just as much a ruse as acquiring new philosophical conceptualizations. I will not rest until I can truly rest. I see that the only truth is one wherein all things are included but not contained or isolated. All the parts are themselves whole, but they too help to create a much larger whole. Love is like that. Limitless. Thank God. The last week with this group has deepened a considerable degree. Right from the beginning my old wounds were right in front of me and I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity and the space to explore them and find healing. Nothing is solved nor will it ever be, there is only a consistent and continual surrender to something that I don't understand and don't know. I have realized the integrity of group process as a spiritual path. I understand why the circle is so sacred and learning to hold and provide the nourishment that all parts of the circle require is something that only real elders can do. For those who I have contacted thus far, thank you. I am becoming more and more inspired to give license to my voice and presence. I have been afraid of myself and my voice for so long, but I see that is because I breathe fire. I have been crushing a piece of coal into a diamond for the past 23 years and I feel it shining brighter than ever. "Random hearts in a cruel cruel world, Random hearts that beat for each other." I just have to thank god for this voice and the intrinsic intelligence with which it is imbued. Every time I speak from my heart and offer to anyone the words that are on my mind, and the quicker and more spontaneously I do so, the better I feel and the better I feel in community, the better I feel in a group. The primary concern of community is honesty, and the more honest we can be with ourselves, the more honest our communication with others will be, and the more honest our lives will become. To Love, To LOVE, TO LOVE.

2/20/11

Update situation. Highs and lows. yin and yang. siva/sakti. love/love.love. There is so much going on and such beautiful people. I've really started to feel more grounded and a part of the community here as my network of friendships grows larger and deeper. I was walking around today and had the thought, where else is there to go when you are doing what you love and are surrounded by family? That's a difficult question, thank god. I've had my hands full lately. Doing a little bit of homework for the program and getting my hands dirty with the actual work. The working situation is so great here oh my god. Doesn't even feel like work. I show up at the Collerne gardens at 9am. We get into a group and hold hands, attune to the present moment and the work before us, then attune to what work we would like to do, then get going. Then we work for about an hour and a half, then have a 20/30 minute tea break that is just a smorgasbord, then get back to it for about another hour and then clean up what we've been doing and then hold hands and tune out. Also, when I say tune in and tune out, I mean that we (whoever is participating in a group activity) holds hands and meditates together for a minute. Then we offer prayers and intentions as a group regarding the upcoming activity and the present moment. Anyway, I've been cleaning garden beds and doing some great weeding, and I've also helped do the composting with my friend Martin. The compost situation here is so inspiring, everything is reused, zero waste attitude and it is very well planned and developed. Compost is what built this place. There wasn't anything here except sand and beaches, gorse, which is a very thick skinned plant, spikey and sharp. One of the founders of Findhorn, Peter, must have spent the first couple years just composting to create the soil upon which these beautiful gardens now flourish and from where we get our food. Just Beautiful.
Yesterday our group along with the folks from the Ecovillage Training went into Forres and got a taste of some city life. There was a bus going to Aberdeen and I was hard pressed not to just start my tour of Scotland! It's nice to get into the towns and cities because I feel more like I'm actually in a different country. Findhorn is such an international community and is kind of its own universe, so the surrounding landscape is very helpful when it comes to creating cultural context. Just an awesome day. Had the time to practice yoga when I got back and had my fill of raw vegetables, and then went to bed early.
Today is kinda cloudy but warmer, and I've some homework to occupy myself with. I will probably head into the Findhorn village down the road and get cozy at a coffee shop and do some of this 'work'. Oh yeah. The food is maybe the best I've ever had, and it's consistently good. For brunch: potatoes, eggs w/ veggies, stir fry veggies (mushrooms, carrots) w/ tahini, a brownie, and some coffee. Peppermint tea for digestion. Oh, and some of the stereotypes are true, the english really really like tea and toast. WORD is BOND. The word is LOVE.

more pictures 2.20.11

Yesterday was a very beautiful day.

pictures

walking on water, jumping in naked

2/18/11
I did it. I finally walked on water. It's possible here. One of my longest standing goals has been accomplished with the help of the unique biodiversity and spiritual reality that Findhorns magick creates. Thank God. A friend named Mary joined me as well, both of us crossed onto the glassy surface of the water to discover that you can walk way out into the Findhorn bay and there is sand that is under an inch of water perhaps. What's great though is that you can't really see the sand, it only pops up here and there and for the most part it looks as if it weren't there at all. With a late afternoon sun the two of us walked into the afterlife.
I went back to that same spot last night for the full moon. Just magickal, the queen of cups rules that environment and space. I then went to join a rather large group of people who took a walk through the dune land (which is something like what I would imagine the surface of the moon) to the North(?) sea. There was about 20-30 who went and it was a beautiful thing to witness all the people heading there together. Such an awesome community. The best part of the evening however, had yet to happen. Once we got to the sea, it was time to get naked. A Belgian fellow named Lieven(?) and myself, followed by a few others went skinny dipping in the sea!! Such a tremendous rush of energy, like a baptism. We stood there, naked in the light of the full moon, on the threshold of new beginnings and the most beautiful sacrifice. The night ended with a beautiful walk back to the community, whcih culminated in a group hug of epic proportions. We howled at the moon and walked back home. My name is Stephen Link, and I have spoken. HEY! HO!

Findhorn Ecovillage

The beginning of the official, designated, purpose of this blog.

2/16/11
Been at Findhorn for a few days now. Time is going very fast. This place is deep, real deep, and what is going on internally is tremendous. The moments of elation parallel the moments of trouble, but they are flowing together to create a harmonious song. Ever since arriving my contemplative impetus has been quite powerful and has only been encouraged when I take time myself. I'm having a difficult time, however, finding balance between my social projection and my internal experiences. Findhorn is a place of tremendous learning and healing. The forest is imbued with a consciousness that bespeaks tremendous intention and love. For me, the deepest healing is happening, as it always does, on the heart level. Complete surrender to love is the truth of awareness and of God, there is no other teaching. It feels really good to be working with Earth again. Actually, every task that I have been appointed has been so sweet. My activities are beautiful meditations and my enthusiasm has been in full force. Sweet dance party last night in the kitchen, there was a great crew of people from all over the world and we were dancing to Lady Gaga! Yesterday afternoon was an opportunity that I feel I've been waiting for for some time, maybe a lifetime. We had an opportunity to go to the Findhorn river and explore the surrounding terrain. Scottish forests are something that speaks so deeply to my imagination and the ancient past. Thank you God! Everywhere I walked was like the culmination of some great journey and I couldn't stop the feelings of devotion and reverence that overwhelmed me. An archetypal presence overtook me and I was at its behest completely. The behest of the beast. I felt like I could kill wild animals with my hands and teeth, and that it would be the most sacred offering unto the power of the Most High. I was overtaken and completely in love. I think, however, that I might have offered myself a bit overzealously. Upon returning to what I would call my waking persona, I was quite shaken and very sensitive. This is what, I would say, has been the biggest difficulty with the closeness of this community is that, although I have been having some tremendously spiritual experiences and my energy feels as if it is embracing all existence, I want to rest in that though, let it move through me, let myself be transformed by it. And in this space I find myself confronted by a lot of social giddiness and activity which, I must admit, has recalled a lot of past insecurities. I feel though, that because the community is so close together all the time, it will ultimately end up as its own spiritual reality. I must say that it is a little foreign to me to be surrounded by people practically all the time. There is a tremendous vulnerability that I am experiencing. Raw. But it is all tenderness and love.

1/27/11

i did it. committed the most fatal and egregious of errors. i fell in love with a stripper. she took me for all i was worth and at the end of the night i only had a best friend and a boombox. we walked home alike in our love for the phantasm of our fantasy and together took to triumph and revelry. nothing could stop our sensation. we were madrigal miracles, importing an impending doom to the decay march of society, as we proclaimed our love to the stars. all you need is love. we sing this. we chant this. we are this. i am this. this it. i am it. i am my love. i am love. no more no less. no song no salutation other than this marriage of the miraculous and the morbid. its incredible. i have spent so much time in the spiritual and philosophical realms of being that when i loosen up and decide to go with the flow in whatever way it takes me my meditation becomes my most immediate experience. even sensory engagement with life becomes a spiritual practice and the only thing i am enacting is my service of the undying and unending heartmind that is myself. i send this to all. encourage it in everyone. and become what i most despise. i become myself.
last night is a night which will live in infamy forever. its not every evening that you get together with an old friend and sing the praises of the universe forever unending unto the break of day when you get to start all over again. only this time in the guise of agenda and attitude. the masks of urbanity. if you have these no one will question your motive. in these opportunities i speak more loudly than ever. even in drunken revelry. i sing with my heart. i offer all Being the flowers of my sentiment and encouragement and wax alone under the opportune moon. none shall know or see my delight except the light. my partner and mischief maker. the lord is a coyote who runs away with my kill, who howls triumphantly the fourfold nature of his score. we are not different, the coyote, myself, me and god. we speak the same language and under that moon i shalt sing myself. and offer all praises and reciprocity unto my maker. for whom i have not the least desire to know. except in this song. thank you for my moments god. they are all i have and all i will take with me. merrymaking and revelry hath become unto me a religion as that which both befits and benefits myself and all others. life is a celebration.

i am starting to understand the life that i live. it is a movement of courtship with that most triumphant essence, an incorporation of all elements and an aggrandizement of the most royal proportions. i seek to become king over all that i see know and am, and yet at the same time, serve only the most high authority of all. in submitting to the king one becomes king. i can only say that i seek out the finest things in life in all regards. my body, my mind, my heart, can only be satisfied by that which would bequeath unto me the most grace. i seek moderation and yet am ecstatic, and my ecstasy is always in perfect proportion with the seasons, with the sentiment, and with the circumstances. the great mother looks out for her children with such gracious movements that her breast arms and heart are always within reach. i have only to look up, i have only to touch the ground, and i can feel her dance, and her laughter. the firepits of the ancients sent sparks up to the heavens in reverent dance for the gift of life, and all the stars sang in unison for their beloved. like the ancients i seek a royalty beyond hierarchy, an intrinsic kingship, and the friends that are family. that we should all dance and sing with tremendous steps and strides and ride into the sunset to ride it again, gratefully acknowledging the miracle together, that there could be no higher authority than this Love.

old poem

shakti is the caress of a restless mirror,
of Minos, Taurus, and Ursa Major;
I plead the Pleadies, and I plead to the
presence of infinite pleasure that I might
be accorded an intimation, an inclination
to overcome the curse of this purse that
I've been burdened by.

I am the Beast and I am the best, I've left it up to the
rest to resurrect the closest thing to consciousness
I could come up with, but It happens on its own Time;
I am pregnant with a new kind of pragmatism, a
regiment of reintegration into the tales of old, of child-
hood timelessness, and a passive affinity with infinity.

I gave up the cloth when I saw it stained by Her blood,
I gave up my cold dead presentiment when I learned it
was the first thing keeping me from clarity,
and I laughed with the clouds on Sunday afternoon when
I knew I wasn't alone;
I looked into the eyes of daffodils and pasafiers,
and knew absolutely that there was nothing to say.

Somewhere over the rainbow, my family is laughter, and
my family is light; my family is love and it is the most profound
gesture of respect; we are instantaneous evolution and the
expectation of perfection, and there is nothing that will keep us
from kissing, and I know that I am home when I hear I LOVE YOU,
anywhere and anytime. That's the real rhyme, that's the real reason,
that's the season, and its summer all the time.
I look to the sky and see the sea of infinity shining sublime,
I've teamed up with Time at last, when I let go of the past,
when I entered into the pleasure of this leisure that is
beyond measure; This is resurrection, this is passion, and this is
empathy, say It to me! I said say it to me! Love you Love you Love you I Love you!

poem 1/23/11

who consistently suggests having had the courtship of kundalini?

with unquestionable legitimacy where is the legacy of the sakta lineage?

which guru will guide me to the grace of god, how will we go about it?

i am an offering of incense and sensual sentiments the incestuous son seeking salvation.

there can be no conditions for this development as it is nondual,

and i am demonstrative of the stratification of the psyche, its coefficient coagulation.

the parts must be organized into a whole,

all the aspects shall speak with confidence and clarity,

they will legitimate themselves, certainty, so that synchronicity might coincide with synesthesia;

that this whole sordid affair of the seduction of suffering be put to an end.

I seek out an honest answer, a teacher who is indisputable, and a most hospitable abode for my blessings.

i am influenced by all aspects of experience and i only consider the most exceptional cirucumstances as being worthy of contemplation.

my respect begins and ends with reverence, with resurrection, and unto these decrees my mystical predilection is imperturbable.

pressure me with luck, with milk and consequences, there is nothing i wouldn't suffer for salvation other than ecstasy.

and it is here that i find myself face to face with my greatest fear.

that ecstasy itself is salvation, and its surrender is resurrection, that i would die to my desire and be brought back to life insatiably sober and full of celebrity.

like socrates i will drink my fill and drink to the dregs my dialogue of love, and all answers will be satisfied by quenching my thirst. i have heard the first and the last clarion trumpets announcing the apocalypse, and to this i can only suggest a kiss, and lips, languor, as Death's luxury should be my last seduction, the sanctuary of certitude.

Prerequisite adventures

The meat of this journal is yet to come, and yet so much has happened thus far. The journey to Findhorn has been in the works for about 6 months now and has entailed a lot more work than anticipated. I've had my frustrations, my failures, but also my successes and accomplishments. I can earnestly say that I've never had to do so much nit picky work in regards to the logistical element of my life as I have in getting ready for this journey. It is so interesting to relate to myself as a political and economic entity in the marketplace of world travel.

I've never left the continental United States and as such, this trip marks a tremendous departure for me. I've seen a great deal of my Turtle Island and really, have so much gratitude to come from a land of such abundance. America is amazing. There is so much space here, so much time, so much land, and so much beauty. A lot of which, however, goes unnoticed. I am from some of the most beautiful land in this country, Jackson Hole, WY, and am so grateful to have been brought up with a real dialogue with nature and the natural world.

I have been, however, looking forward to this trip for some time. My ancestors being Scottish, there is a lot of digging into the past which I hope to accomplish in Scotland. My mother's father, my grandpa Jack, is the lineage to this part of my past and with him I feel a tremendous connection psychologically and spiritually. He is a wise and beautiful man who has lived a full life and accomplished just about everything one could hope to with their time on this earth. His contribution to this journey of mine is indispensable and I offer him so much gratitude and thanks.

Up until now, the reality of this trip has really only been in paperwork and travel plans, whereas now, the journey itself is started to loom before me. I am shaken with anticipation but remain grounded in the present, seeking to accomplish everything I can in the places I find myself. I left Boulder with a feeling of complete triumph, and I knew I'd completed my stay there for the time being. I left everyone and everything in that town with gracious gestures and beautiful promises, thank you to everyone who has been there with me. Boulder, CO is a truly beautiful place and I am so glad to have lived there. It has been, alongside Naropa University, a perfect container for my evolution spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I've been challenged in just the right way the entire time I've lived there and all of the circumstances fall into place in my mind as being the perfect opportunities for this story. Thank God.

From Boulder I have come to Boise, ID. The place of my youth and my adolescence. Although I am from Jackson Hole, I grew up in Boise. This place never ceases to amaze me. It's completely unpredictable though, and I feel that the heart of this town has a great degree to do with one's own ability to live spontaneously. I know that the more that I can sink into the moment with whoever I am with here, something great happens. Although that happens everywhere, there is something so sweet about home that it feels all the more unique and majestic. It is a quiet great here though, one that doesn't necessarily need explanation or aggrandizement. In fact, it is a great that is almost like a secret, and for those who are in on it, there is really little else to say other than the inane banter which is the heart of my dialogue with this town.

I've had some tremendous ups and downs in the past few years here and I was a bit reticent to return. I felt that I would be stuck here, that there would be nothing to do and instead my pre-Findhorn vacation would either be spent completely idly, or I would be traveling around the Northwest. Neither of those possibilities have happened. I have sunk, shall we say, into the bog of Boise and am really enjoying myself. This was the least desired of all outcomes but because of that, I think, the most important. The reality is that this is a small town, and that's about it. A lot of people, including myself, would like to think that there is a lot of progressive thought happening here, a budding art scene begging for an artistic revolution in the vein of Seattle or Portland. Unfortunately, this is not the dialogue that I foster with this place anymore. In fact, I don't think there's a damn thing going on in Boise, but that's what makes it great. It's so fun to not have anything to do for an indefinite period of time. I've been saying this a lot, but Boulder has a pace. There is a lot of stuff going on there, tons. Art, music, spiritual practices, parties, the place is a total scene. Boise usually falls short in all those categories and only the most dedicated of practitioners keep these outlets alive. I find that I usually end up at the bar at the end of the day, and that has never really felt more fulfilling. Ahhh the sweet medicine of home.

I've never relaxed like this before. I walk around and my chest just releases everything, I will take a complete breath, and in that moment there is nothing, but there is everything, and I find release. These experiences are emotional, sexual, psychological, spiritual, and above all, it is simple. My experience here continues to be punctuated with this simplistic ecstasy. The people that I love and have fallen in love with are my friends. I see them and know such a powerful story, and the context continues to deepen as I see these passages grow and develop into the world. So much heart, so much soul. I go with these people, I am these people, like wind in the trees our stories are scattered all over the world and we know together that we are all indispensable. Thank you for this story.

I wanted to begin this blog with a little update on my recent travels. This is to be a travel log, and I intend to use it to keep all my friends and family informed on my experiences abroad. I want to make writing a habit again, and also a release. There was a time when it was all that mattered but has been a dormant passion and art for too long now. I can't stop thinking, I can't stop talking, and I can't stop loving this life, so for everyone and no one, here is a testament to the tragedy, a testament to time, and a toast to eternity. That we may all find the path of fragrant flowers.